Eaten By The World
Eaten by the World
When I woke up I knew within seconds that I had no chance of falling back asleep. For a while I just lay there—in the darkness. In the blur of semi-consciousness I managed to put in my headphones and play some music. I usually listen to jazz when I can’t sleep but this morning I settled on Nick Drake's Pink Moon. I rolled out of bed and brushed the muck from my eyes. At that moment I felt hollow. There were no emails in my inbox and my message folder was empty.
I pushed the covers aside and went to my window. The City’s fog glowed pale orange from the streetlights. My temple throbbed. I went to the bathroom for some Advil; the image in the mirror was dull and meant nothing to me. I wanted to smoke and needed to go outside to do it.
I didn’t even light it up once I stepped into the fog. Instead I decided to walk. I wasn’t going anywhere, I didn’t have anywhere to go. I’m ashamed to say this, but I managed to get lost in the City’s fog. I was turned about in my own neighborhood. So, I decided I would keep going until I had a good sense of things.
Then, out of the fog came the shadow of another human being. I wanted nothing to do with them, so I moved out of their way and began fumbling for my cigarette. It was a tall man with a slender face and small black eyes. He kept his hands behind his back and was dressed head to foot in navy blue.
His voice cut through the silence: “You wouldn’t be able to help me find it would you?”
“I most certainly would not,” I replied sternly.
He looked me up and down like I hid the symbolism of a Renoir painting. “No,” he finally said. “No it’s lost to both of us isn’t it?”
I lit my cigarette, nodded, and blew the smoke towards him in hopes that it would cause his rapid dispersal. My strategy was successful. He started walking the opposite direction and disappeared into the darkness.
Afterwards, I found a street that could connect me back to my own. I went back home, got into bed, and laid under the covers until the sun rose. I was to be dead from the neck up that day. I was to be eaten by the world.
